We Rise by Lifting Others: Why Real Strength Begins When You Help Someone Else Win
Picture a new student stepping onto the mat for their first live sparring round. Their heart rate spikes, their hands grip the fabric of their opponent's jacket until their knuckles turn white, and their mind locks into survival mode. They think winning means dominating the person in front of them. In corporate boardrooms, I see the exact same behavior. People believe that to climb higher, they must push others down.
I am Ranard Brown, Owner and Head Instructor at Gracie Lake Norman, an academy where we teach Gracie Jiu-Jitsu self-defense to kids, teens, adults, and women, and we take a completely different view. Real power does not come from physical aggression or personal dominance. It comes from building up the people around you so everyone reaches a higher standard.
I have spent over two decades testing this principle across two demanding environments. Before devoting my life full-time to martial arts, I worked as a Fortune 20 executive in technology and finance, applying frameworks like Agile, Six Sigma, and cybersecurity to build resilient teams. In 2009, I founded Beyond Jiu-Jitsu. Over my career, I earned my 3rd degree black belt in both Gracie Jiu-Jitsu and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. I trained under Royce Gracie from 2001 to 2014, spent a decade as a 3rd degree black belt under the Rickson Gracie JJGF from 2014 to 2024, and have trained under Master Luiz Palhares from 2014 to the present day. Along the way, I earned 12 IBJJF championship titles in the heavyweight and open class divisions, reached a #3 World IBJJF Masters Heavyweight ranking, and completed my MBA. As a coach, I have helped produce 14 world championship titles and more than 200 championship medalists, while hosting my podcast Rolling Real with Ranard.
Throughout all those years on the mat and in the boardroom, one constant remained true. You cannot reach the highest levels of performance alone. My signature point of view has always been simple: We rise by lifting others.
This article lays out why this philosophy works, where it comes from, and how you can apply it today to transform your leadership, your training, and your life.
The historical roots: Who said we rise by lifting others?
The famous phrase "we rise by lifting others" was said by Robert G. Ingersoll, a 19th-century orator, lawyer, and political leader known for his speeches on human rights and personal liberty. Ingersoll understood that human progress is not a zero-sum game. When you invest your energy into raising the standard of those around you, the entire collective environment ascends.
A closely related quote comes from educator Booker T. Washington, whose writings and speeches are preserved by the Library of Congress. Washington famously stated, "If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else." Washington recognized that individual achievement detached from community service creates fragile success. True resilience comes from mutual uplift.
Historical Origin Summary:
- "We rise by lifting others." -> Robert G. Ingersoll
- "If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else." -> Booker T. Washington
In martial arts, this truth is unavoidable. If you smash your training partners without teaching them how to defend, your own game stalls. You end up practicing high-level techniques against zero resistance. To get better yourself, you must train your partners to be sharper, faster, and more technical. Their defense forces your offense to evolve.
What lifting others actually means on the mat and in life
The phrase "we rise by lifting others" means that genuine self-improvement and long-term success are achieved by supporting, mentoring, and encouraging those around you. It is an operational strategy for shared growth, not just a soft sentiment.
In our academy, we teach the concept of self-offense. Most people confuse martial arts with physical aggression. They think self-defense is purely reactive, while offense is violent. We view self-offense as taking proactive ownership of your mind, your emotional intelligence, your positioning, and your choices before an external threat forces your hand.
Lifting others is the ultimate form of self-offense. When you take the initiative to help a teammate correct their posture or help a colleague structure their workflow, you eliminate friction before it turns into a crisis. You choose to act with emotional intelligence rather than reacting out of ego or fear.
Here is what happens when you commit to lifting others:
- You accelerate your own learning loop. Teaching a concept forces you to understand its underlying mechanics deeply.
- You build psychological safety. People stop hiding mistakes and start fixing them openly.
- You multiply overall capacity. A team of five capable performers will always outperform one star burdened by four untrained followers.
Lessons from coaching jiu jitsu and leadership through martial arts
Coaching high-level athletes requires a clear understanding of the hero's journey. Every student who walks onto the mat is on a personal quest. They arrive with self-doubt, fear of failure, and physical limitations. The coach's job is not to play the hero. The coach's job is to serve as the guide, equipping the student with the technical tools and mental toughness needed to conquer their own obstacles.
When coaching martial arts, I measure success not by how many matches I win, but by how effectively my students perform under pressure. Competitive organizations like the International Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Federation test your technical precision and mental composure under strict rules and time constraints. If a coach builds an academy culture around personal vanity, the academy fails when the pressure mounts.
Leadership in business follows the exact same pattern. During my time as a corporate executive, projects failed whenever leaders hoarded information to protect their standing. Projects succeeded when leaders shared knowledge freely, cross-trained their teams, and removed operational roadblocks for their staff.
Ego seeks to dominate the room. True leadership seeks to raise the baseline of the entire room.
Shared growth versus ego-driven competition
To understand why lifting others produces better long-term results, compare how ego-driven models operate against shared-growth models.
| Performance Metric | Ego-Driven Approach | Shared-Growth Approach |
|---|---|---|
| Skill Development | Caps early at personal athletic or intellectual limits | Accelerates continuously through shared feedback |
| Team Retention | High burnout, toxic competition, elevated attrition | High loyalty, deep trust, rapid team scaling |
| Response to Failure | Blame, defensiveness, hiding operational mistakes | Tactical analysis, systemic adjustments, fast recovery |
| Culture & Mindset | Secrecy, internal politics, status protection | Open mentorship, clear standards, continuous improvement |
When you operate from a shared-growth mindset, you no longer view a teammate's success as your loss. You view their progress as proof that the system works.
What to say to raise someone up: A practical phrase bank
Words matter. Under high stress, the specific language a leader or training partner uses can either lock someone into panic or open their mind to learning.
If you are wondering what to say to raise someone up, use clear, actionable, and supportive language that focuses on effort, correction, and belief.
Here is a phrase bank you can use on the mat, in the office, or at home with your family:
1. De-escalating immediate failure after a mistake
- "That did not go the way we planned, but the data is clear. Let's fix the grip setup and run it back."
- "You had the right tactical idea. Your timing was just off by half a second. Adjust your base first next time."
- "Don't carry that error into the next round. Reset your mind, take a breath, and focus on your stance."
2. Reinforcing quiet growth during slow periods
- "I see the work you are putting in behind the scenes. Your defensive movement is significantly tighter than it was last month."
- "You stayed calm under heavy pressure today. That emotional control is where real progress shows."
- "Your consistency is setting a standard for everyone else on this team."
3. Reframing pressure before a high-stakes challenge
- "You have put in the repetitions. Trust your preparation and focus on executing one step at a time."
- "You do not need to be perfect today; you just need to be present and relentless."
- "We have your back regardless of the outcome. Go out there and test your boundaries."
Using these phrases shifts the focus away from judgment and toward continuous development.
The mat feedback drill: Building performance through mutual support
You cannot build a supportive culture through good intentions alone. You need practical drills that make mutual support an operational habit.
In our training, we use a specific framework called The 3-Minute Micro-Rep Loop. This drill builds technical skill while conditioning athletes to coach each other constructively.
The 3-Minute Micro-Rep Loop:
[ Minute 1: Isolation ] -> [ Seconds 30: Feedback ] -> [ Minute 1.5: Resistance ]
Drill Mechanics
- Phase 1: Isolated Execution (60 seconds)
- Partner A executes a specific technique (such as an armbar escape or a hip toss entry) at a smooth, controlled speed.
- Partner B acts as a static, supportive training partner, providing accurate body mechanics without counter-attacking.
- Focus on exact hand placement, weight distribution, and balance.
- Phase 2: Corrective Feedback (30 seconds)
- Partner B provides exactly one positive observation and one actionable correction.
- Example: "Your hip angle was great. Make sure you secure my wrist before you hip switch so I cannot pull my arm free."
- No long lectures. Keep the feedback sharp, factual, and direct.
- Phase 3: Progressive Resistance (90 seconds)
- Partner A repeats the technique against Partner B, who now applies moderate, realistic resistance.
- Partner A applies the verbal correction immediately under live conditions.
- Switch roles and repeat the process.
This drill teaches individuals to give and receive feedback without defensiveness. In my experience coaching both athletes and corporate teams, psychological safety directly correlates with higher operational performance and reduced error rates. By making constructive feedback a normal part of training, you remove the fear of making mistakes.
A 4-week protocol for implementing shared growth in your team
If you want to shift your academy, business, or household from an isolated survival mindset to a culture of mutual uplift, follow this time-boxed four-week plan.
4-Week Shared Growth Implementation Plan:
Week 1: Audit Communication Patterns
Week 2: Introduce Micro-Mentorship
Week 3: Reframe Tactical Failures
Week 4: Delegate Ownership & Standardize
Week 1: Audit Communication Patterns
- Goal: Identify where friction and negative language exist.
- Action: Pay attention to how team members respond when someone makes a mistake. Are they offering solutions or expressing frustration?
- Standard: Require all feedback to follow the rule of one concrete strength and one immediate correction.
Week 2: Introduce Micro-Mentorship
- Goal: Pair experienced individuals with developing members.
- Action: Assign senior students or staff to mentor junior members for 15 minutes during each training session or weekly work block.
- Standard: The senior member is held accountable for the junior member's understanding of foundational concepts.
Week 3: Reframe Tactical Failures
- Goal: Remove the stigma from failure.
- Action: Run a weekly debrief session (similar to an Agile retrospective, as documented by organizations like the Scrum Alliance). Have every member share one mistake they made that week and the lesson they learned from it.
- Standard: Praise people for identifying and sharing their own technical errors.
Week 4: Delegate Ownership and Standardize
- Goal: Transition team members from learners to guides.
- Action: Ask intermediate members to lead a warm-up, teach a basic drill, or present a project summary to the group.
- Standard: Ensure every person experiences the responsibility of lifting someone else up.
Applying the self-offense mindset in daily life
As Ranard Brown, I often remind our students that the hero's journey is not a solo quest. In every classic story, the protagonist only succeeds because they receive guidance, step into their responsibility, and eventually turn around to help the next generation.
Self-offense in daily life means choosing clarity over chaos. When life brings unexpected challenges, an untrained mind drops into panic and self-preservation. A trained mind pauses, assesses the environment, and asks: How can I bring stability to this situation? How can I help the people around me stay calm and focused?
When you focus on raising the standards of your family, your training partners, and your work colleagues, your personal problems shrink in comparison. You build a network of capable, confident human beings who have your back when real adversity hits.
We do not rise by standing on the shoulders of others. We rise by locking hands and lifting together.
Take the next step
Building strength, emotional intelligence, and self-defense capabilities is a lifelong journey best shared with a dedicated community. I am Ranard Brown, and I invite you to join us on the mat at Gracie Lake Norman to continue this conversation in person. You can also listen to deeper discussions on leadership, mindset, and martial arts on my podcast Rolling Real with Ranard. Visit our academy today to schedule your first class and take your next step forward.
Frequently asked questions
What is the meaning of "we rise by lifting others"?
The phrase means that personal growth, meaningful success, and true leadership are achieved by helping, mentoring, and supporting the people around you. Instead of competing to push others down, elevating your team or training partners creates an environment where everyone, including yourself, reaches a higher standard of performance.
What to say to raise someone up?
To raise someone up, use clear, constructive, and supportive language that focuses on effort and actionable steps. Helpful phrases include: "I see the hard work you are putting in," "That mistake gives us the data we need to fix the technique," and "Trust your preparation and focus on executing one step at a time."
Who said we rise by lifting others?
The quote "we rise by lifting others" was originally stated by Robert G. Ingersoll, a 19th-century American orator, lawyer, and human rights advocate. He used the phrase to highlight the power of human compassion, community support, and shared progress over selfish individual ambition.
Who said, "If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else"?
The famous statement "If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else" was said by Booker T. Washington, the renowned African American educator, author, and founder of the Tuskegee Institute. Washington emphasized that self-improvement and community elevation are deeply connected.
